As I went to go to bed last night I happened to look up at the ceiling before I turned off the light. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear? No, not a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, but a small gecko-like lizard. The intruder was camouflaged with different hues of greens, reds, yellows and browns. He had snuck into the room through a bedroom window that had been left open all day. Although he wasn’t hurting anything at the moment, I could tell an attack was imminent. So a pre-emptive strike was in order. Girl and I devised a plan that involved a dish towel, two pillows, and Girl playing supervisor from the corner of the room. Little did I know this encounter would turn into an episode of the Crocodile Hunter.
Danger!! Danger!!First, Girl had to convince me to use a dish towel to grab the wild African beast instead of using my bare hands. The towel was to ensure that my iron grip would not cause harm to the creature. I then stacked the two pillows on the bed to stand on so I could reach a few extra inches higher. After ascending the pillows, there we were, face-to-face, man vs. beast, his gaze piercing through my soul. Undaunted I moved in for the capture. He countered my first attempt by spreading out his specialized toe pads, gripping himself firmly against the wall. Girl called out, “grab him from behind so he will fall into the towel.” As I went to grab him a second time, he wedged himself between the ceiling molding and the wall. Who does this African lizard think he is? Enough was enough. I mounted an attack as fierce as an American “humanitarian effort” in an oil rich country. I would not let this lizard terrorize the innocent inhabitants of this bedroom any longer. With one final surge I scooped him off of the wall and into the towel. “Hold off! Unhand me, grey-beard loon!” the lizard appeared to cry out. Well “we crashed through the wall and into the street, kicking and a’ gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer. I tell ya, I’ve fought tougher men but I really can’t remember when, he kicked like a mule and bit like a crocodile. I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,” and as I held onto the ruthless reptile, Girl quickly opened the window. Thanks to Girl’s quick action I was able to relocate the domestic disturber back into the wilds of the backyard where he belongs.
If you see this lizard do not approach, and use extreme caution
2 comments:
That description of your little bar brawl sounded very similar to one I've heard before...from a male friend of mine named Sue. How do you do?!?
I tried to catch a gecko once when we were in Hawaii. They moved to darn fast to even get close to. I did hold a chameleon while I was there...that was kind of cool. Anyway, I've heard that the death rate from gecko related attacks have actually dropped over the last few years. What was it about this gecko that clued you in that he was a natural born killer? Sounds like girl was a real trooper through the entire confrontation...everyone needs a boss/cheerleader screaming from the sidelines :) That is what I do when I have the wife killing a spider.
Remind me what part of November you are going to be back...when you get to Granny B's, let us know so we can come up and see you. Ang and I were looking at concerts, AC DC is on tour, but they aren't coming to SLC...closest stop is Denver 11/25 or Phoenix 12/10. The wife isn't a big fan...she said, "That's a guy concert, too bad he's not here to go with you." So not only would it have been an awesome concert, but a ROAD TRIP as well. How do you feel about standing outside a venue pandering for scalped tickets? Just wondering.
We've had a few "lizard in the house encounters" since we've been in Florida as well. I can honestly say, none to that extent, thank god. I'm glad everyone is safe.
Post a Comment